IN the modern world of dating there seem to be no defined terms and conditions. The rules seem hazy and you can be sleeping with someone but never even go on a date with them.

In this "go-with-the-flow'' game, have we actually taken the "date'' out of dating?

In the good, old days there were very clear guidelines for how courtship should progress. Boy meets girl, boy calls girl and asks her out, then several dates are enjoyed before the physical fun begins ... the first kiss.

When my parents were young, very few people were having sex unless they were married. So people actually got to know each other they dated! They spent time together and made sure they really liked even loved each other before they ended up in bed together. Imagine.

Then we had the ``sexual revolution'' where sex was just sex and everyone and anyone could and should be having fun doing "it''.

Anyone who remembers the 1980s has the ``safe sex'' AIDS campaign firmly set in their foundations, but with a condom in your wallet, you're good to go ... right?

Sure, sex is fun. But what happened to getting to know each other first? Is it so old-fashioned to want a guy to take me out to dinner before I give him dessert?

We're so comfortable with our sexual selves these days it's almost easier to have a completely sexual relationship with someone than actually date them. You get all the benefits of the fun without all the hard work of the date.

But has this created a beast that no one knows how to control? With sex being so easy to obtain and dates becoming an urban myth, relationships seem to be an endangered species among the 20-somethings.

Why would a guy want to be in a relationship when he can be in several "sex buddy'' type arrangements at once?

Which guy do you know wouldn't choose to be single if he knew he'd be getting plenty of sex without having to pay for dinners, movies, worrying about his girlfriend's friends liking him, etc?

Seriously, this modern dating game has given guys such an easy ride it's no wonder every second guy you meet tells you he's "just not ready for a relationship''.

But this "beast'' is something we have all created together. It's not the guy's fault that he can get sex on tap and it's not the girl's fault that she wants to be out there having her fair share of the fun.

We are all equally responsible for "feeding the beast,'' but at some point, hopefully, we will all calm down and realise it is better to know and like and maybe even love the person we are sleeping with. Imagine.

JD