He's the kind of guy who picks you up, then uses the exact same lines to try and pick up your best friend a couple of weeks later.

He has plenty of girls attracted to him. He knows it and he loves it.

The Player is charming, charismatic, confident, attractive, and it seems most of them can dance.

Let's face it, most girls love a guy who can dance and make the moves. But there's a problem. You see, I'm attracted to guys who are fun, outgoing and, wow... if they can dance I'm completely smitten.

So, it's hard for me not to fall for the player as he possesses all the characteristics and qualities that I look for.

So, how does one recognise a player?

A male friend of mine recently met one of the players I had somehow become involved with and he said to me: "Oh, you should have been able to see he was a player straight away. What were you thinking?''

I asked him how I was supposed to know. Couldn't I just naively believe that this extremely hot, fun and smooth guy genuinely liked me and might want to date me?

"No!'' my male friend said. "All you needed to do was excuse yourself for five minutes and observe his behaviour with everyone else in the bar, and it would have been clear.'' Right.

But we all know it's not that simple.

When the cutest guy in the bar is chatting you up, are you seriously going to leave him? It's exciting to be his centre of attention.

And, of course, being a player, he knows all the charming things to say and has all the right moves.

It's almost impossible not to get carried away and let him pick you up.

Girls: NO! NO!! NO!!!

Unless you're happy being a reciprocal player, he is not the knight in shining armour that he appears to be.

- He will not settle down with you.

- He probably won't even date you.

- His charm will always be there, but you'll be sharing it with all his other girls.

A player might one day be a great catch but, while he's happy playing, you're nothing more than a contestant in his game.

So don't kid yourself ...maybe excusing yourself for those five minutes isn't such a bad idea after all.

JD