IT'S Murphy's law that the only guys that seem to be interested in you - and who are brave enough to ask you out on a date - are the ones you're not interested in.

Sometimes it's because you're not attracted to them or because their personality might irritate you.

Or maybe there's really no good reason at all - it's just that that spark isn't there for you.

The spark is a strange attraction of sorts that draws you to a person.

The person you feel that spark for may not be the hottest guy in the room, but he just has that that X-factor that makes your heart race and keeps you turning back to see if he's noticed you too.

I always used to think that when you feel that spark, it's a mutual thing.

It's one of those undeniable attractions that romance novelists base their stories upon and where love at first sight was born. If you feel it, surely he does too, right?

The longer I am in this singles world, the more that I am realising this is just not the case.

It's a lovely romantic idea but there are far too many times when that spark misfires or needs a jump-start. I have felt sparks for guys who haven't felt them for me and vice-versa. It's a tough situation to be in when someone feels a spark and the other person does not.

Is it a case of misreading the signals? Is it a biological thing where the pheromones have become all mixed up?

I don't really know, I guess no one does. But one thing I do know is that telling someone you don't feel that spark for them is not a fun thing to do. Letting someone down gently can be really tricky when someone asks you out and you know there's no possibility of a romance.

Should you accept the invitation gracefully and go "just to see?''

I did this once and it was the most uncomfortable coffee date I have ever experienced, so I'm not in a big rush to do it again.

I think if you're not interested in a guy and he has asked you out and you are sure there will be nothing between you, it's best to be upfront about it and gently tell them you're not interested.

My Mum is always warning me not to base all my decisions about men based on the spark but I am a firm believer that if it's not there to start with it will never be there.

I am sure that the spark is a real thing as there are times that I can't explain why I am "into'' someone rationally.

A wise friend of mine recently said that not everything in the dating world was going to be a rational process.

Still, it would be nice if biology could just get it right and not jumble up the sparks with the wrong people, causing little mini-explosions of heartache and awkward moments.

JD